‘Torn apart’

By Leeandah

Being hurt by the one you love is the most painful thing. Losing a sister is another different story all together. Losing someone you are very close to  is the most touching, heart breaking thing one can go through.  When death invades your life, you are left hopeless, devastated, torn up and useless.

I can vividly remember Saturday 26 March 2016. I don’t usually leave my phone anyway but on that day l left my phone lying around and went to sleep. When l woke up, l saw a bunch of missed calls and messages o my WhatsApp. The first thing l read was ‘am sorry sis, be strong’. I was shocked then started to read more messages then a responsive chord stroked me and l screamed.

I screamed then told my self be strong sis. I could not think properly anymore, l was confused, my heart was hurting, bleeding. I blamed myself for her death. I had promised l will see her and l never did. She left without saying goodbye, she left without seeing me. I don’t think l will forgive myself for not saying goodbye to her.

She was suffering but we could not see it, she kept it to herself until we noticed and my parents had to take her to the hospital. Even after she was diagnosed, she kept on soldiering on until her body gave up. Slowly she was deteriorating but she never gave up. She could see that she was no longer the same person she used to flaunt on her app but she was strong.

She knew her death was beckoning but she kept on moving. She nolonger had hope inside her but never showed us that she nolonger had it. She knew how badly her Leukemia was tearing her apart but she never let that pull her down. She tried by all means to keep up an appearance but her body let her down. I remember how we used to cry before you left, the way you tried to keep up an appearance hurt us more. I remember how she used to look at herself after her body overpowered her soul, how she finally gave up a week before 26 March 2016. She will always be a soldier to me and my children will get to know aabout how strong she was,

Her death left a big hole in our hearts, until today tears keep falling from our hearts. It is still unbelievable that you left us Linnah. Sometimes l still think you will walk into the house and we have the life we used to have. Its like a dream that is yet to end.

It’s a year today since l last saw you. It’s a year today since we buried you. Life is nolonger the same without you. Nothing will ever replace you

May her dear soul rest in peace.

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