All posts by conniemats

CAN LOVE BE MEASURED?

love

Moreblessing Phiri

Some argue that love can be measured by a number of butterflies in their tummy. Others think love can be measured in bunches of flowers, or by using the words “forever”. However, others argue that love is an emotion, it can’t be seen or touched but it is experienced differently from everyone`s hence it can`t be measured. Furthermore, it is said that true love can never be counted not with money nor time, with sacrifices made, how much love you give because true love can never be measured.

According to my own point of view, love can be measured by the feelings you have for the other person and it is only you that knows the feeling. Therefore, love is measured internally by an individual because it is subjective and personal. To add on, one can also measure love by a number of gifts she receives from her significant other and it is said that it is a sign of caring.  The idea of that one could measure love via their deeds is conceivable.

Love can indeed be measured by the length of time you have had with your significant other. However, this does give you an indication of a successful relationship. It is an indication that you are in a good relationship and no one would stay in an abuse one.

James Clear is of the view that the things we measure are the things we improve. It is only through numbers and clear tracking that we have any idea if we are getting better or worse. You can only measure what you put in a relationship.  Love is about what you put in. It is a feeling rather it is a choice.

Do you think love can be measured, leave a comment below?

Implications of inserting traditional herbs in the Vajayjay

By Lisa Masuku

herbs
Picture taken from Nehanda Radio

I was coming from Plumtree town when a commuter omnibus dropped me at Egodini terminus. I rushed to the public toilet before I proceeded to my home. Without paying attention I entered to the toilet to relieve myself.

When I was coming out I bumped into a group of women who were sitting and in front of them there were herbs. I wondered what it was.  As I kept staring one of the old grannies called me “makoti buya uzebona ezokuqinisa umuzi” (come and see medicines for making your home strong).

I also wondered what that meant. I was sacred. I turned and approached her. She showed me herbs and she said all those were meant to boost women’s sex drive and in this way the herbs help keep a ma.

She also continually emphasised that the herbs are the gateway for a woman to consistently work her magic in bed and certainly satisfy her man in that way her man would never think of approaching other women.

I thought to myself how these traditional herbs can do that? I listened…. She described “This is called umchemo wendwangu. If you use it he will never turn against you,” she said.

Beside me, there were a lot of women who were buying such medicines. They were going from $1 price to $5 depending on the type of muthi (herbs) that one wants to purchase.

I chit chatted with her for quite some time as he was trying to convince me to buy the traditional medicines.

I left without buying any. I thought to myself how women use these traditional herbs to make their man want them more

“She told me. You insert it into your vagina before having sex. You can stay with it for three hours or more and remove it after some time,” I told myself what she told me.

I was so worried. I went on and I asked my auntie. She told me they are good traditional herbs to make a man stay and like you.

I thought to myself does this not have health effects on women because most of these people are not traditional medicine experts but they are only after making a livelihood for themselves.

I took turns to ask health experts.

Sitheni Nzima, a nurse in South Africa said these herbs are the ones that cause cervical cancer. Nzima described those herbs as having serious effects on women bodies.

“Women should not use those herbs because they have a great effect on their bodies. Some suffer from cervical cancer because or those herbs. They should not tempt to use them. They have long term effects on people’s bodies,” she said.

Another health expert, Dumiso Mleya, a doctor said it was so worrying that women abuse their bodies just to please men.

Mleya said they risk their bodies by using those natural herbs only to make a man stay without considering the side effects of those herbs.

“Women should be concerned about their bodies. Inserting herbs to your vagina has a great effect as some end up suffering from many diseases. These days we all fear cancer. Such herbs contribute to cervical cancer,” he said.

Above all, the most important thing is for one to love and believe in herself before seeking out love from someone else.

Nail it the right way

nails

Photo credit: Electric Nail Files

By Confidence Matiyenga

According to Mail Online, British women spend £450 for their nails to be done.When we hear of a wedding, birthday party or any special event we want to attend we all want to look good on the day. We even go to our beautician for acrylic nails. The coming of these nails came to the rescue for some of us who are used to nail biting, it even made the nails look extremely lovely. To get acrylic nails (a type of artificial nail) to stick, the surface of your natural nails must be filed until they feel rough. This thins your natural nails, making them weaker. Chemicals in the products used to apply artificial nails can irritate the skin around your nails and elsewhere. To remove artificial nails, you often need to soak in acetone or file them off. If you want to wear artificial nails for more than a few weeks, you’ll need touchups every 2 to 3 weeks to fill in the gaps that appear as your nails grow. Frequent touch ups can seriously damage your natural nails. The list of health risks doesn’t end but in short, artificial nails can leave your nails thin, brittle, and parched.

Thembi a nail artist at House of Glamour salon gave tips on how she reduces thin, brittle, and parched nail damage on her clients:

  • Choose soak-off gel nails instead of acrylic nails. Gel nails are a little easier on your nails because they’re more flexible. This means your own nails are less likely to crack.
  • Ask your nail technician to skip the cuticle trimming. Cuticles are often trimmed when you get any type of manicure but that should not be done. Cuticles protect your nails and the surrounding skin from infection. When you trim or cut your cuticles, it’s easier for bacteria and other germs to get inside your body.
  • Reserve artificial nails for special occasions. It’s hard to say it because clients give us money but artificial nails getting them only for a special occasion can reduce nail problems. Time without artificial nails gives your nails a chance to repair themselves.

Ramifications of HIV and AIDS

By Lisa Masuku

It is every girl’s dream to one day walk down the aisle to meet her knight shinning armour and live happily ever after in an utopian fantasy of their fairy-tale love story.

Nkanyiso Ncube ( not her real name), had the same dreams growing up, but life’s cruelty has shown her nothing but brutality which has left her with bitterness.  She has been burnt so many times in her life and this has left her with permanent scars in her heart, body and soul to a point that she made a vow to herself to go/ remain celibate for the rest of her life.

She is not taking any chances. She feels there is no point in getting married and subjecting herself to the monstrous ways of men who keep subjecting innocent women to pain as they cheat and end up infecting their loved ones with the deadly HIV and AIDS.

She clearly remembers when it all started, when life crushed her bit by bit through ravaging all her loved ones.

This has left her filled with anger and resentment towards men because of three selfish, mean individuals.

aids
Photo credit:  Internet

Nkanyiso bottles it all up inside her.

However, is bottling it all inside a wise decision or is she a ticking time bomb waiting to explode due to all the physical, mental and emotional trauma she has been through her entire life.

Nkanyiso was born in a family of three, however, she has suffered a terrible loss as she has watched all her family member succumb and being ravaged by HIV and AIDS.

She grew up in a society filled with a lot of disdain towards HIV and AIDS

Growing up she notes she always believed HIV and AIDS was a strange curse which was some form of a punishment to promiscuous people because that was what society perceived.

Sadly her innocent mother succumbed to the deadly virus and she blames her father for it. She recalls how she helplessly watched her mother fight a losing battle against HIV and AIDS because of her father who infected her with the virus as he was a very promiscuous man.

As if that was not enough, whilst she was still trying to recover from all the pain which she blames and hates her father for putting her mother through, it’s like the world simply turned its back on her.

She has had to bury both of her sisters who also faced the same agonising predicament faced by their mother, as they were also married to promiscuous men who infected them with HIV.

For this reason, she wants to enjoy a sex-free lifestyle, free from emotional pain and also free sexually transmitted diseases.

Open relationships

Open relationship

By Samkeliso Ncube

There are a wide variety of open relationship models and they can vary drastically from one couple to another. A relationship in which two people agree that they want to be together, but can’t exactly promise that they won’t see other people too. Basically, to have it all: a significant other and the freedom to hook up with other people. A couple come to agreement on terms and conditions  of their open relationship. Being in an open relationship does not mean that you do not love each other, but sometimes you’d like some variety. Perhaps a different body type. Or maybe you’d like to see or hear how someone else responds to your moves. It’s tough to suppress that natural “hunter” instinct.

Call them cheaters, swingers, or “whatever couples”, the bottom line is these couples buck monogamy for a more open approach to their relationship. Sex with another person is allowed, but it’s not flaunted or discussed outside the household. Their openness isn’t a license to bed everything in sight—respect and discretion rule. Those who’ve tried it say it isn’t always easy. But what if you could actually make it work

Sometimes an open relationship can strengthen the relationship and make partners realise how they need their counter partners, as long as you believe that your partner’s other partners aren’t threats to your relationship. In this case the relationship would work and survive. It is a matter of putting jealous aside and live for the moment. No matter what the agreement, though, there is one fundamental quality that, if compromised, can destroy any relationship, open or otherwise, and that’s honesty. Thus, both partners should be open and honest, there can be no secrecy between partners about the arrangements.

However, as people, we’re also inclined to be sexually jealous of a partner being with someone else, and from a biological standpoint, we’re resistant to that partner having another relationship. Some people believe that love is jealous, love does not want to share.

 

Honest farting

farting

Photo credit: babypedia

By Confidence Matiyenga

Periods, periods, periods!!!!! It’s a girls culture right? We know periods are completely normal and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. I mean we go through this every month and just because periods are normal it doesn’t mean they aren’t disgusting.  There are some absolutely horrible things that happen to us when we’re on our periods. So last week me and my friends we had a get-together and somehow we ended talking about monthly periods. I had to share with you because sometimes we find it embarrassing to talk about weird things that happen to us during periods. Am so thankful that my friend talked about farting and yes I mean period farting. This is the strangest discussion that you can ever make and to be honest, we laughed the matter off but when I got home I had to research on what causes period farting and available solutions.

So what are the causes of farting

The most important cause for too much gas on periods is the hormonal inconsistency and imbalance caused by increased hormonal disturbances in the female anatomy. Excessive levels of hormones lead to problems like pain, uterine cramping and muscular contractions in the stomach. This could be the most painful experience of the cycle and can also stretch up to the beginning of the period. In rare cases, some women experience the same problems during the menstrual cycle and a day or two after it has ended depending upon the hormonal changes. The flatulence also causes loss in appetite, constipation and bloating.

Once the menstruation begins, the chemical ‘prostaglandin’ is released. These are important hormones as they make the uterus contract from the uterine lining during menstruation. However, if in excess, they can cause several problems such as digestive disorders which include gas, bloating and cramping. It can also cause diarrhoea and acidity as it not only increases the contraction but also the smoothening of the digestive muscular tract.

Some of the possible solutions

  1. Altering the diet

Changing the diet is the first and the most important step. For a few days, you can stick to foods rich in fibre such as rice, cereals, whole grains, vegetables and fruits. Having lesser dairy products, caffeine products and processed food should be cut down completely. You should also avoid food that contains too much salt and sugar or spices. Water intake should also increase to keep the system clean and flush out the toxins.

  1. Exercise

To avoid digestive problems in menstruation it is important to exercise. Apart from the hormonal imbalance, stress is another cause which increases stomach problems during periods. Aerobics, yoga and meditation are some of the great choices you can adopt. A little bit of change in the diet and some exercise can do wonders to your health during menstruation and there continuing it is even better! Both these changes would be a gift to your digestive system function.

  1. Flush it out with water

You can easily deal with the gassiness with increasing your water intake and limiting alcohol and caffeine or sweetened drinks. Water is excellent for facilitating the bowel movements. You can start your day by having a big glass of lukewarm water with some lemon juice and honey. This will not only help with the gas problems but also bloating and constipation. It also helps to boost the metabolism. Coconut water is another excellent choice.

 

What is your blood type?

By Confidence Matiyenga

heart
Photo credit: taken from the internet

 A heart is an amazing organ. Ever wondered what it does for you? It beats wildly when you meet the love of your life and aches when you read about a painful event. From a health perspective, the heart pumps blood around the body and it is made of a special type of muscle that does not become fatigued (Live Science, 2016). Your heart does amazing things for you every day but most of us take it for granted.In Africa death as a result of non-communicable diseases accounted for 2.7 million deaths or 28.6% of all deaths. This category includes heart disease according to Africa Check.

Amanda Nxumalo (not her real name) narrates how she got a heart attack.

I remember my dad had his heart surgery when I was 5 and though I was young, I could tell the pain he was going through after his open heart surgery. My grandfather died because of heart failure before I reached 13. After dad had heart failure that is when we saw that our family had this disease and it meant anyone can have it as well in my family and this could either be me or my siblings. Knowing we had a family history of heart disease, we started taking into consideration what we ate as a family and my mom made sure we were active, however, my worst fear came true.

I remember starting my day normal. I wake up early in the morning and I prepared to go to work but something didn’t feel okay on that day. I felt like something more than my weight was sitting on my chest. I brushed it off thinking I might have slept with the wrong side and the pain would go away but when I got at work it became worse, I was sweating extremely. My work colleagues called an ambulance and I was taken to a hospital. Part of me wasn’t surprised, because of my family history, but another part of me couldn’t accept it; that I was having a heart attack at this age—for crying out loud am 30?

Yes at that age and sometimes lower than Nxumalo’s age one can wonder how can a young person  have a heart attack. But researchers have found that people with A, B, and AB blood types may be at greater risk of cardiovascular events – particularly heart attack – than individuals with O blood types.