All posts by leeandah

LETTING GO

By Leeandah

Have you ever received a call from your ‘bae’ telling you how they can no-longer be in the relationship with you anymore? Confusion strikes, you cry, you curse but one thing l have experienced and that hurts is letting go.

There is nothing painful and heart breaking as letting go of someone especially when you loved them. Letting go is not a once of thing but a process that has no estimated time frame. During the first days you will be thinking he was joking but then reality is he has left you unexpectedly when you thought maybe we are on the same page.

As days pass by you will be trying to comfort yourself thinking you will be fine but you would be having sleepless nights, flash backs. Flash backs are the worst moments that can ruin your day. In some instances you find yourself looking at the pictures you took together and you try and figure out what really went wrong, at the end of the day you blame yourself for everything

Crying and blame game will never wipe away the fact that he is gone and he will not come back. Yes, you will hesitate to call him and ask how he is holding up since he left you. The truth is the ‘dude’ moved on the moment he thought of leaving you. Stalking him will be the order of the day whilst he moves on with his life. Letting go of the memories you shared will be a nightmare and something you cannot do.

It’s ok for you to miss the person who hurt you but it’s not ok for you to let that person hurt you again by thinking about that person. Never let someone who you wrong made you feel like there I something wrong with you. Do not devalue yourself just because someone did not know your worth even when that person does not.

Its ok for you to still care about the person who took you for granted but it’s not ok for you to put yourself back in a position that person made you feel unappreciated. Learn to move on with your life without stalking him, wondering how he is holding up because he doesn’t care anymore. Get out of that shell and be yourself and be happy because you only live once. YOLO

 

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Pregnancy and Studying: Summing it all up

By Velisiwe Ashley Mangoye

I’m now in my 9th month…..yipeeeeee…..nana is about to come!! Last of last week I experienced some horrible period-cramps like pains….………so severe that I thought the baby was coming. I did not sleep a wink on that night. My back was veeeeery painful; it became much worse every time the baby moved. I took paracetamol tablets and the pain went down a bit. At 2am I asked to be prayed for by my family, I could not bear it anymore. I was crying the whole night…… I wonder what I will do when the time comes…lol. First thing the following morning I went straight to see a gynae (I was on easter holiday in Chinhoyi). The gynae checked me and told me that it was the baby turning. My nana has been breech all along, so he turned at 34weeks. The following week I went for a scan to confirm if nana was now in the head-down position. Nana was indeed in the correct position, ready for birth.

 

Well my darlings on the last post I was on a quest of finding a gynae. I went for the appointment and my gynae, Dr Mwedzi, recommended a number of gynaes from around town. Well, I have dropped the issue…….I don’t need a new gynae, when will I build a relationship with them? I also have secured a place for delivery. It’s Corporate24 and they have midwives, you can also be attended to by your personal gynae. They charge $470 for normal delivery, $1 350 for a c-section, and there’s a $20 cash non-refundable registration fee. They also take medical aids. It’s a new and very clean place. I like it because it is in town.

 

I have packed nana’s bag……only mine is left now. But I’m afraid my bundle of joy will come on a very cold day. However, I’m prepared…….I bought a lot of fleece wrappers and 2 carrier towels and blankets. Everything is now ready for him.

 

My final exams are starting next week. On the 4th of May I will be sitting for my first paper. The following week on the 10th  I will be writing my last final exam!!!!! I only have 2 exams, the other 3 courses were practicals and the dissertation was the 5th. I’m submitting the final dissertation on the 2nd of May, next week. After the 10th of May I will be anticipating the arrival of the baby and my first degree graduation!!!

 

It was nice sharing all this with you……… keep well friends……..love you all.

‘When the prey rules’

By Leeandah

21st Century has witnessed a lot of women empowering themselves, being self-dependant. This has given rise to a number of women who are single by choice rather than by default. Just like men women now have a say in their own lives, do what they want without be questioned because they are the ‘miss independent’ of this modern world.

In the past, for a woman to ask a man out on a date was taboo but with the way women have become independent they can now ask a man for a date and pay the bills at the same time. Years back, most single mothers were seen as a disgrace, people with loose morals or one would have been left by the ‘baby daddy’ but nowadays being a single mother is by choice rather than default.

Women can now choose to be a single mother with whomever they want to without necessarily having to visit a sperm bank. In our underdeveloped world like Zimbabwe, sperm banks are not available like in the developed countries like Britain. Even if there would be one, they are too expensive. Women in underdeveloped countries have resorted to approaching man they want to have a baby with by looking at the genes especially.

There are many instances were by man have been approached by women asking them to have a baby with them but then the cases are not reported on. These kinds of women just want a ‘no strings attached’ kind of relationship and they are their own bosses they don’t need any financial help once the baby is born. In some cases, women do not tell the man what their agenda is because they are scared that the man will not agree to such in fear of responsibility.

Some women get pregnant and after that they make sure the affair with the person ends before the guy realises that she is pregnant. This is so because they do not want shared custody and most men would want to marry the women for she is pregnant but marriage is the last thing on the woman’s mind.

Most women who are into this kind of relationship are commonly middle aged women. In most cases they approach young men, younger than them. These young men are commonly known as ‘BEN 10’. They are a target because most of them are not financially stable and this woman who has an agenda is financially stable and will provide for the young men. In such a relationship where money lured one into the relationship, the young man is exploited and dominated.

The man is now silent, they are tossed around by the woman and still has no say. Its is believed that a man has a say in a relationship but in this kind of a relationship he doesn’t. Decades ago, man would would just impregnant a woman and leave them like that and let th woman suffer on her own. As tables have turned, these young men are denied custody of the baby or even told its not theirs when it is his baby. The child when born bears the last name of the mother and the man does not have anything of his to tag the baby with.

Women now prey on men at last!!!!

HOW TO FIND OUT IF HE IS THE ONE

MOREBLESSING PHIRI

In a love journey, we meet many prospects. Some of which one may have non-committal, fleeting encounters with, such as one-night-stands and flings. Some may be unrequited loves. Some may be cheats. Some may be toxic and abusive partners. Some may leave your heart fluttering, only for the feelings to die off. On the other hand, some may be solid individuals with great personalities, great minds, and a genuine interest in you. They may make you wonder, Is he/she “the one”?

No one tells you if the person you are dating is the one or not, you must arrive at that decision yourself. Some of the pointers to help you to find out that he is the one.  The person must love you unconditional. He/she does not judge you, compare you with others, or criticize you because he/she understands you are a unique individual. He/she celebrates everything about you and sees beauty even in places where you do not see it.

Furthermore, you must be yourself when you are around him.  Be it being goofy, crazy, kid- dish, wimpy, sulky, or morose, you can be all these and more in front of him/her without worry about judgment. Is he/she there for you in times of need? Your one should be the one who’s always there for you, day or night, rain or shine. He/she will never leave you to face your problems alone. He/she cares for you deeply.

 Your one should make you happy. When you are with him/her, you are constantly smiling, laughing, and happy. When you think about him/her, you smile, not cry. Even if you cry, you are shedding tears of happiness not sorrow. While there may be conflicts at times, they are quickly resolved and not dragged out into weeks. Your happy times together far outweigh any unhappy moments. He/she is, without a doubt, a positive light in your life.

Your one should be someone you are excited to see every time even when you have just meet. You can never wait till you meet again because no meeting is too soon between people who love each other. You always make time to meet him/her even in your busiest times because that’s how important he/she is to you. Your one should inspire you to be more than you can be. Being with him/her elevates you rather than holds you down When you are with him/her, you feel like a better man/woman and you want to be even better for him/her, as well as for yourself.

 There is no relationship without love. Your one should be someone you love unconditionally. Your love is not contingent of his/her good looks, personal success, wealth, family background, social status, or career accomplishments. Your one should be someone you see yourself with forever, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, or in health. No matter what happens, you will stick with him/her and stand by his/her side.

 

Youtube video link : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmnPfAWz7vA

   Title:  Are you two the perfect match.

HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE BEING USED IN A RELATIONSHIP

MOREBLESSING PHIRI

The last thing a person needs to know is that he is being used in a relationship. As cruel, selfish and immature as it may be and seem, the truth is that there are people out there who will use others to fulfil their own selfish needs, whether it is for sexual purposes, money, free dates, temporary companionship  It is very common for some to choose the path of denial when they see the red flags that they are being used because they do not want to believe that the person they like is using them nor do they want to believe that they could fall victim to such a thing.

Denying the truth is helping no one, especially you.  If you suspect you are being used for anything, you should become more alert and observant of the relationship you really have with this person and collect the facts so that if you are being used, you can put an end to it as soon as possible. Here are some tips to show that your significant other is using you. If the person you are seeing makes a lot of excuses for not seeing you an example is when they say they are busy, already have plans, something came up.

 Another tip is that when you always going out for dates. This is all fine and good, but if after a while you find yourself still in the dating stage, only seeing this person when you go out to treat him or her to dinner, movies then it is possible that you are being used for free dinners, movies and other treats. When a real relationship is building, the two of you will want to see more and more of each other, outside the dating scene. You will want to hang out at each other’s homes and have intimate experiences (both physically and emotionally), meet each other’s friends and/or family and eventually agree that you are in an official relationship. If you cannot get this person to get officially involved with you, but he or she does not mind you to keep taking him or her out on dates here and there it means he is using you.

To add on, another red flag is when you invest large amounts of money in a person when it primarily serves their interests, said Sibongile. “One of my friends knows a woman who got her “boyfriend” to buy her a Car on Valentine’s day. I’m sure you can guess what happened next, she broke up with him”. When you love someone, you care when they get the ‘flu, when their parents are ailing, or when they lose a job. Users don’t display compassion or help you with your problem. In fact, they will actively avoid you if you are in the midst of struggles, and for them this might, in fact, be the big cue for them to exit because they just don’t care.

Youtube video: Websitelink : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2wbQsVKynI

Tittle : Signs you being used in a relationship.

‘Torn apart’

By Leeandah

Being hurt by the one you love is the most painful thing. Losing a sister is another different story all together. Losing someone you are very close to  is the most touching, heart breaking thing one can go through.  When death invades your life, you are left hopeless, devastated, torn up and useless.

I can vividly remember Saturday 26 March 2016. I don’t usually leave my phone anyway but on that day l left my phone lying around and went to sleep. When l woke up, l saw a bunch of missed calls and messages o my WhatsApp. The first thing l read was ‘am sorry sis, be strong’. I was shocked then started to read more messages then a responsive chord stroked me and l screamed.

I screamed then told my self be strong sis. I could not think properly anymore, l was confused, my heart was hurting, bleeding. I blamed myself for her death. I had promised l will see her and l never did. She left without saying goodbye, she left without seeing me. I don’t think l will forgive myself for not saying goodbye to her.

She was suffering but we could not see it, she kept it to herself until we noticed and my parents had to take her to the hospital. Even after she was diagnosed, she kept on soldiering on until her body gave up. Slowly she was deteriorating but she never gave up. She could see that she was no longer the same person she used to flaunt on her app but she was strong.

She knew her death was beckoning but she kept on moving. She nolonger had hope inside her but never showed us that she nolonger had it. She knew how badly her Leukemia was tearing her apart but she never let that pull her down. She tried by all means to keep up an appearance but her body let her down. I remember how we used to cry before you left, the way you tried to keep up an appearance hurt us more. I remember how she used to look at herself after her body overpowered her soul, how she finally gave up a week before 26 March 2016. She will always be a soldier to me and my children will get to know aabout how strong she was,

Her death left a big hole in our hearts, until today tears keep falling from our hearts. It is still unbelievable that you left us Linnah. Sometimes l still think you will walk into the house and we have the life we used to have. Its like a dream that is yet to end.

It’s a year today since l last saw you. It’s a year today since we buried you. Life is nolonger the same without you. Nothing will ever replace you

May her dear soul rest in peace.

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Some common natural pregnancy challenges

By Velisiwe Ashley Mangoye

Well last week we talked about what to wear during pregnancy and I promised to share the challenges I have faced so far. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, my pregnancy hasn’t plagued me with sicknesses so far. I can proudly say it is a very happy and healthy pregnancy. So health-wise I don’t have any serious challenges to share.

The first and most annoying challenge is securing a gynae. Some of us have never had serious problems that require a gynae before so I had to start the search from square one. My general practitioner, DR Gwini, helped me find one. He is very good, does not make you waste money on scans unnecessarily and he takes most medical aids. He is young and not so very popular. I liked that so much because it made feel secure and comfortable to know that he would give me all the attention I need as he wasn’t soo overwhelmed. You might want to be under a popular gynae but believe me, popularity means nothing. You can get a famous gynae who is always busy and away most of the times. I believe in having a very personal and close relationship with your gynae. If he is not friendly and treats you like a customer, drop him immediately my love. Yes you are a customer but this relationship should be more than commercial if you both really want the best for the baby.

Yesterday I received a message from my gynae’ office. He is going away for three months and I might be transferred to someone new today. I am so sad. After the message, I panicked and eventually started surfing the net for a new gynae. I called this prominent gynaecologist and obstetrician who even have an influential post at Mpilo Hospital. He told me to go to his surgery if I am really serious and not communicate with him over the phone like he runs a shop. I was really pissed off. Who in this age of technology does that? What is so wrong with asking him how much he charges for delivery over the phone? Maybe I’m being paranoid but this was sooo wrong. What’s the point of going all the way to his office just to ask for the charges? I want a gynae who is friendly and caring.

Enough about my bitterness. The other challenge is finding a place for delivery. Up to now I don’t know where I will deliver. I am scared of hospitals but they are cheap. Private maternity clinics are expensive but I prefer them. By next month I should have secured a delivery place. This needs to be done fast because some places need prior booking and might be full during your time of delivery. So be careful. Basically, there are only two challenges that I have faced and that you should anticipate.

Let me get ready for my appointment…….I hope I will be transferred to a good gynae. I’m now 32 weeks along!!!!