Category Archives: Love & Relationships

CAN LOVE BE MEASURED?

love

Moreblessing Phiri

Some argue that love can be measured by a number of butterflies in their tummy. Others think love can be measured in bunches of flowers, or by using the words “forever”. However, others argue that love is an emotion, it can’t be seen or touched but it is experienced differently from everyone`s hence it can`t be measured. Furthermore, it is said that true love can never be counted not with money nor time, with sacrifices made, how much love you give because true love can never be measured.

According to my own point of view, love can be measured by the feelings you have for the other person and it is only you that knows the feeling. Therefore, love is measured internally by an individual because it is subjective and personal. To add on, one can also measure love by a number of gifts she receives from her significant other and it is said that it is a sign of caring.  The idea of that one could measure love via their deeds is conceivable.

Love can indeed be measured by the length of time you have had with your significant other. However, this does give you an indication of a successful relationship. It is an indication that you are in a good relationship and no one would stay in an abuse one.

James Clear is of the view that the things we measure are the things we improve. It is only through numbers and clear tracking that we have any idea if we are getting better or worse. You can only measure what you put in a relationship.  Love is about what you put in. It is a feeling rather it is a choice.

Do you think love can be measured, leave a comment below?

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LETTING GO

By Leeandah

Have you ever received a call from your ‘bae’ telling you how they can no-longer be in the relationship with you anymore? Confusion strikes, you cry, you curse but one thing l have experienced and that hurts is letting go.

There is nothing painful and heart breaking as letting go of someone especially when you loved them. Letting go is not a once of thing but a process that has no estimated time frame. During the first days you will be thinking he was joking but then reality is he has left you unexpectedly when you thought maybe we are on the same page.

As days pass by you will be trying to comfort yourself thinking you will be fine but you would be having sleepless nights, flash backs. Flash backs are the worst moments that can ruin your day. In some instances you find yourself looking at the pictures you took together and you try and figure out what really went wrong, at the end of the day you blame yourself for everything

Crying and blame game will never wipe away the fact that he is gone and he will not come back. Yes, you will hesitate to call him and ask how he is holding up since he left you. The truth is the ‘dude’ moved on the moment he thought of leaving you. Stalking him will be the order of the day whilst he moves on with his life. Letting go of the memories you shared will be a nightmare and something you cannot do.

It’s ok for you to miss the person who hurt you but it’s not ok for you to let that person hurt you again by thinking about that person. Never let someone who you wrong made you feel like there I something wrong with you. Do not devalue yourself just because someone did not know your worth even when that person does not.

Its ok for you to still care about the person who took you for granted but it’s not ok for you to put yourself back in a position that person made you feel unappreciated. Learn to move on with your life without stalking him, wondering how he is holding up because he doesn’t care anymore. Get out of that shell and be yourself and be happy because you only live once. YOLO

 

Falling In love is a nightmare

Samkeliso Ncube

Falling in love is the worst night mare that has ever happened to a girl child. I remember when I was young and innocent, when I knew nothing about falling in love. Life was fun, I knew no definition of a heart.

Someone wrote “ I wish falling in love had traffic lights too so that I would know if I should go for it, slow down or I should just stop”. It is unfortunate that love has no recipe, it has no formula each and every individual meet his or her own surprise.

I think things female counterparts suffer the most, they are the ones who get pregnant and left with fatherless babies. Girls suffer emotionally all in the name of love. Thus people should be aware not to fall in love so quickly to avoid heartbreaks.

Love on its on is not a bad but it is full of uncertainties, no one knows when its gonna end, you make sacrifices today not knowing whether that relationship will work or not. Love pushes you to sacrifice for a relationship which at the end does not last for long, love has no guarantees.

You-Were-Gonna-Break-My-Heart-put649desi48Love is a sad story, you will be busy loving someone while that same person is busy loving someone else. Its so sad those you love do not love you back, they take your love for granted. They do not feel bad about hurting you, they would hurt you more than a thousand times. If only we don’t love and live for the moment life would be fun and interesting.

Falling in love is a game of hurting each other, someone wrote “ LOVE IS PAIN”, where there is no pain there is no love. Its so unfortunate girls are the most fragile beings, they easily fall in love, they easily get attached in relationships and at the end of the day they get hurt

 

Open relationships

Open relationship

By Samkeliso Ncube

There are a wide variety of open relationship models and they can vary drastically from one couple to another. A relationship in which two people agree that they want to be together, but can’t exactly promise that they won’t see other people too. Basically, to have it all: a significant other and the freedom to hook up with other people. A couple come to agreement on terms and conditions  of their open relationship. Being in an open relationship does not mean that you do not love each other, but sometimes you’d like some variety. Perhaps a different body type. Or maybe you’d like to see or hear how someone else responds to your moves. It’s tough to suppress that natural “hunter” instinct.

Call them cheaters, swingers, or “whatever couples”, the bottom line is these couples buck monogamy for a more open approach to their relationship. Sex with another person is allowed, but it’s not flaunted or discussed outside the household. Their openness isn’t a license to bed everything in sight—respect and discretion rule. Those who’ve tried it say it isn’t always easy. But what if you could actually make it work

Sometimes an open relationship can strengthen the relationship and make partners realise how they need their counter partners, as long as you believe that your partner’s other partners aren’t threats to your relationship. In this case the relationship would work and survive. It is a matter of putting jealous aside and live for the moment. No matter what the agreement, though, there is one fundamental quality that, if compromised, can destroy any relationship, open or otherwise, and that’s honesty. Thus, both partners should be open and honest, there can be no secrecy between partners about the arrangements.

However, as people, we’re also inclined to be sexually jealous of a partner being with someone else, and from a biological standpoint, we’re resistant to that partner having another relationship. Some people believe that love is jealous, love does not want to share.

 

‘When the prey rules’

By Leeandah

21st Century has witnessed a lot of women empowering themselves, being self-dependant. This has given rise to a number of women who are single by choice rather than by default. Just like men women now have a say in their own lives, do what they want without be questioned because they are the ‘miss independent’ of this modern world.

In the past, for a woman to ask a man out on a date was taboo but with the way women have become independent they can now ask a man for a date and pay the bills at the same time. Years back, most single mothers were seen as a disgrace, people with loose morals or one would have been left by the ‘baby daddy’ but nowadays being a single mother is by choice rather than default.

Women can now choose to be a single mother with whomever they want to without necessarily having to visit a sperm bank. In our underdeveloped world like Zimbabwe, sperm banks are not available like in the developed countries like Britain. Even if there would be one, they are too expensive. Women in underdeveloped countries have resorted to approaching man they want to have a baby with by looking at the genes especially.

There are many instances were by man have been approached by women asking them to have a baby with them but then the cases are not reported on. These kinds of women just want a ‘no strings attached’ kind of relationship and they are their own bosses they don’t need any financial help once the baby is born. In some cases, women do not tell the man what their agenda is because they are scared that the man will not agree to such in fear of responsibility.

Some women get pregnant and after that they make sure the affair with the person ends before the guy realises that she is pregnant. This is so because they do not want shared custody and most men would want to marry the women for she is pregnant but marriage is the last thing on the woman’s mind.

Most women who are into this kind of relationship are commonly middle aged women. In most cases they approach young men, younger than them. These young men are commonly known as ‘BEN 10’. They are a target because most of them are not financially stable and this woman who has an agenda is financially stable and will provide for the young men. In such a relationship where money lured one into the relationship, the young man is exploited and dominated.

The man is now silent, they are tossed around by the woman and still has no say. Its is believed that a man has a say in a relationship but in this kind of a relationship he doesn’t. Decades ago, man would would just impregnant a woman and leave them like that and let th woman suffer on her own. As tables have turned, these young men are denied custody of the baby or even told its not theirs when it is his baby. The child when born bears the last name of the mother and the man does not have anything of his to tag the baby with.

Women now prey on men at last!!!!

HOW TO FIND OUT IF HE IS THE ONE

MOREBLESSING PHIRI

In a love journey, we meet many prospects. Some of which one may have non-committal, fleeting encounters with, such as one-night-stands and flings. Some may be unrequited loves. Some may be cheats. Some may be toxic and abusive partners. Some may leave your heart fluttering, only for the feelings to die off. On the other hand, some may be solid individuals with great personalities, great minds, and a genuine interest in you. They may make you wonder, Is he/she “the one”?

No one tells you if the person you are dating is the one or not, you must arrive at that decision yourself. Some of the pointers to help you to find out that he is the one.  The person must love you unconditional. He/she does not judge you, compare you with others, or criticize you because he/she understands you are a unique individual. He/she celebrates everything about you and sees beauty even in places where you do not see it.

Furthermore, you must be yourself when you are around him.  Be it being goofy, crazy, kid- dish, wimpy, sulky, or morose, you can be all these and more in front of him/her without worry about judgment. Is he/she there for you in times of need? Your one should be the one who’s always there for you, day or night, rain or shine. He/she will never leave you to face your problems alone. He/she cares for you deeply.

 Your one should make you happy. When you are with him/her, you are constantly smiling, laughing, and happy. When you think about him/her, you smile, not cry. Even if you cry, you are shedding tears of happiness not sorrow. While there may be conflicts at times, they are quickly resolved and not dragged out into weeks. Your happy times together far outweigh any unhappy moments. He/she is, without a doubt, a positive light in your life.

Your one should be someone you are excited to see every time even when you have just meet. You can never wait till you meet again because no meeting is too soon between people who love each other. You always make time to meet him/her even in your busiest times because that’s how important he/she is to you. Your one should inspire you to be more than you can be. Being with him/her elevates you rather than holds you down When you are with him/her, you feel like a better man/woman and you want to be even better for him/her, as well as for yourself.

 There is no relationship without love. Your one should be someone you love unconditionally. Your love is not contingent of his/her good looks, personal success, wealth, family background, social status, or career accomplishments. Your one should be someone you see yourself with forever, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, or in health. No matter what happens, you will stick with him/her and stand by his/her side.

 

Youtube video link : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmnPfAWz7vA

   Title:  Are you two the perfect match.

HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE BEING USED IN A RELATIONSHIP

MOREBLESSING PHIRI

The last thing a person needs to know is that he is being used in a relationship. As cruel, selfish and immature as it may be and seem, the truth is that there are people out there who will use others to fulfil their own selfish needs, whether it is for sexual purposes, money, free dates, temporary companionship  It is very common for some to choose the path of denial when they see the red flags that they are being used because they do not want to believe that the person they like is using them nor do they want to believe that they could fall victim to such a thing.

Denying the truth is helping no one, especially you.  If you suspect you are being used for anything, you should become more alert and observant of the relationship you really have with this person and collect the facts so that if you are being used, you can put an end to it as soon as possible. Here are some tips to show that your significant other is using you. If the person you are seeing makes a lot of excuses for not seeing you an example is when they say they are busy, already have plans, something came up.

 Another tip is that when you always going out for dates. This is all fine and good, but if after a while you find yourself still in the dating stage, only seeing this person when you go out to treat him or her to dinner, movies then it is possible that you are being used for free dinners, movies and other treats. When a real relationship is building, the two of you will want to see more and more of each other, outside the dating scene. You will want to hang out at each other’s homes and have intimate experiences (both physically and emotionally), meet each other’s friends and/or family and eventually agree that you are in an official relationship. If you cannot get this person to get officially involved with you, but he or she does not mind you to keep taking him or her out on dates here and there it means he is using you.

To add on, another red flag is when you invest large amounts of money in a person when it primarily serves their interests, said Sibongile. “One of my friends knows a woman who got her “boyfriend” to buy her a Car on Valentine’s day. I’m sure you can guess what happened next, she broke up with him”. When you love someone, you care when they get the ‘flu, when their parents are ailing, or when they lose a job. Users don’t display compassion or help you with your problem. In fact, they will actively avoid you if you are in the midst of struggles, and for them this might, in fact, be the big cue for them to exit because they just don’t care.

Youtube video: Websitelink : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2wbQsVKynI

Tittle : Signs you being used in a relationship.