Tag Archives: exes

Why do women keep going back to their exs?

By Samkeliso Ncube


Several times I have laughed at my friend when she would go back to her ex-boyfriend . Then this one time I was sitted at home watching Oprah Winfrey’s reality show and the show was about a woman who was able to accept and take back her ex-husband after he cheated on her in their 25years of marriage. This tendency left me taken aback, I wondered to myself “How could these women be able to take back MEN who left them traumatised. This became a wakeup call to me.

This is probably one of the many questions that has baffled many a woman. There are several reasons that drive a woman back to the arms of her ex. One of those reasons is LOVE because while she was with him she felt the ‘love.’ Hence forgiving that man one believes to be the one for her comes naturally.

Love is the only thing that keeps a smile on a woman’s face, it makes her feel like she is the only girl in the world. Therefore when they love they love whole heartedly just like how one American artist R Kelly put it when he said “when a woman loves she loves for real.”

Another reason includes women’s fragile nature. They usually do not want to find closure and get back in the dating game. They spend countless nights crying their eyes out wondering what went wrong, stalking their exs on social networks such as Facebook and Whatsapp. Therefore because of the false hope and obsession which the women would be having over the ex she is bound to welcome him back with open arms when he comes crawling back begging for forgiveness.

As I pointed early one of my friends has done this mistake too of going back to her ex, not once or twice but several times yeah several times. Often times she said she felt like her world had crumbled and everything she ever dreamt of and wanted has come to an end.    She said it becomes so hard to accept that this one and only guy who is supposed to be your Mr right” that you have kept and reserved herself for is actually your  Mr wrong. I noted rejection is not an easy thing to accept thus we find a lot of women going back to their ex. They just cannot allow their egos and pride to get hurt by letting go.

Being friends with an ex is a big NO, it usually drags back women to their exs. It gives women false hope that maybe the guy is still interested. Therefore sooner or later women are bound to find themselves going back to their exe as they will be hoping to restore things like how they were or used to be before. Usually they focus on the good forgetting the bad things which the ex did. Hence women become so desperate for another chance from an exe to prove to ‘him’ that she can become the woman that ‘he’ want her to be forgetting the saying that ”Once broken, it can never be the same again”

Sometimes women do not go back to their exes genuinely because of love. The spirit of vengeance and anger that would be bottled inside women is another major reason that makes women want to go back to their exs. They believe men are dogs who ought to be taught a lesson. Therefore women feel like it is not fair that he is happy. “How can he look good and happy while am still nursing the scars that he left me with?” Thus one can safely note that here women would be after an eye for an eye justice.

It’s normal for a women to ask herself why she goes back to her ex though through that normality it feels abnormal that women go back to their exs.