By Samkeliso Ncube
There are a wide variety of open relationship models and they can vary drastically from one couple to another. A relationship in which two people agree that they want to be together, but can’t exactly promise that they won’t see other people too. Basically, to have it all: a significant other and the freedom to hook up with other people. A couple come to agreement on terms and conditions of their open relationship. Being in an open relationship does not mean that you do not love each other, but sometimes you’d like some variety. Perhaps a different body type. Or maybe you’d like to see or hear how someone else responds to your moves. It’s tough to suppress that natural “hunter” instinct.
Call them cheaters, swingers, or “whatever couples”, the bottom line is these couples buck monogamy for a more open approach to their relationship. Sex with another person is allowed, but it’s not flaunted or discussed outside the household. Their openness isn’t a license to bed everything in sight—respect and discretion rule. Those who’ve tried it say it isn’t always easy. But what if you could actually make it work
Sometimes an open relationship can strengthen the relationship and make partners realise how they need their counter partners, as long as you believe that your partner’s other partners aren’t threats to your relationship. In this case the relationship would work and survive. It is a matter of putting jealous aside and live for the moment. No matter what the agreement, though, there is one fundamental quality that, if compromised, can destroy any relationship, open or otherwise, and that’s honesty. Thus, both partners should be open and honest, there can be no secrecy between partners about the arrangements.
However, as people, we’re also inclined to be sexually jealous of a partner being with someone else, and from a biological standpoint, we’re resistant to that partner having another relationship. Some people believe that love is jealous, love does not want to share.
by Samkeliso Ncube
I remember when we used to write letters and wait for people to call us on our home phone (Landline), I remember a time when people actually got excited when they received mail, when the idea of having a cell phone wasn’t as life changing as it’s become today, those were the good old days. Relationships had value and meaning, being in a relationship was not a two minutes thing like nowadays, “I love you” wasn’t just a joke, the phrase carried value with it.
I remember when I was in high school the excitement which came along with receiving a letter. We used to talk to people whom we know, unlike nowadays where you meet a boyfriend or girlfriend in online platforms like WhatsaAp, facebook and twitter. People are just after having fun, they just want to have as many girls/boyfriends as they can. Relationships in this era can be likened to a game, where people just compete to date a number of people, especially men. This might be because of easy access of women from various parts of the world.
The emergence of social media has led to broke of trust in relationships. Couples are always insecure that that their counter parts are busy talking to other male or female in their social platforms. Social media has raised jealous amongst individuals. For instance if your significant other posts pictures with other people, you will be likely to get jealous and that can destroy the relationship unlike in the old days where people will privately keep their pictures at home, and relationships would last.
Marriages are destroyed because of social media, especially WhatsaAp. Images of public figures and generally ordinary people are tarnished because of information that would have leaked through social media, especially pictures. Relationships have turned into being stressful as partners will be stressing about who their partner is chatting with on WhatsaAp and other social platforms, unlike in the past where relationships were comprised of joy and happiness.